What is Underneath Matters
I heard the story about a neighborhood in my town that experienced an undesirable outcome of a building style used for their homes a decade or more ago. The neighborhood homeowners experienced cracking walls, ceilings, and foundations beyond the usual house settling expectations. An investigation led to the discovery that when the neighborhood was excavated the tree roots and stumps were not removed, they were left and used as part of the substrate. Foundations were built on wood that eventually rot and this became an unstable base for the house on top.
Our Life Can Be Like this
It is normal to want out of discomfort, to move away from what we feel is intolerable. Cracks in our walls. We can and should move away from something when safety or health is at risk. No wait is required when we experience our skin burning because we forgot to put sunscreen on. Changing our situation (putting on sunscreen) is the best course of action. Putting on the sunscreen stops us from further burning but it will not fix the burn that has already occurred. Nor does this one application prevent sunburn in the future. The developers of the neighborhood in my town who used stumps as part of the fill solved the problem of needing fill but they did not address the long term need for the house to be on stable ground.
Kelli, my life coach directed me to a new to me podcast this week called Coaches Rising. A recent guest on this podcast used the term Profound Development. It resonated with me both personally and in the work I do as a coach and nutritionist. If I have a client who has been recently diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and I give him the advice to avoid eating naked carbohydrates. (pair carbs with healthy fat and/or protein) but I never help him understand why he is reaching for the bag of cookies in the first place- I am just like the developers of the neighborhood. I am not meeting him where he is, helping him to dig down into the why behind the cookies- it is not just because they taste good. Without this understanding the plan or advice to not eat cookies has no foundation. Sitting in the current space to understand your why gives a very different perspective of the problem and the solution may be way different than the more reactive action to change.
Do you have a crack in your wall? A situation or life circumstance that is bothersome to you? Before you rush to change anything- ask yourself the question. What is underneath this issue? Is there a bigger foundational reason for why it is my present situation. As I said below- this never applies to issues that put your immediate safety at risk.
Here is an example that I see everyday.
Client: “I am an emotional eater”
Kim: “Can you tell me what you mean by that”?
Client: ” I find myself sitting on the couch eating whatever I can find in the kitchen while I watch TV and I already had a good dinner”
Kim: “Why do you think you do this”?
Finding out the why is so much more important than making any decision to stop doing it. The why is the rotten stumps. They need to be cleared out so that the decision to change an old not serving you well habit is possible and sustainable.
To your good health
