Unconditional Love
This Blog has taken me a while to pluck up the courage to write. It is both a heartbreaking and beautiful story.
I am gifted with bonus parents. I chose them and they chose me. They are affectionately known as Meema and Sir and they are the best examples of unconditional love I know. On June 7, 2023, Sir- my Knight in Shinning Armor was called home to his heavenly family.
Sir worked in the automotive industry and was regularly exposed to asbestos before asbestos was known to be a dangerous substance. 50 years later he was diagnosed with asbestosis. The knowledge of this diagnosis was heartbreaking for me because I knew what was ahead for this man that I love so much. And most importantly, I knew that I would be saying goodbye to him way too soon. Sir’s prognosis was very poor and the trajectory was short because the diagnosis was missed and opportunity for treatment was not available to him. As was his way of doing life- Sir handled the diagnosis with incredible Grace and Faith. He was always more concerned about all of us, his chosen and biological family than he was about himself. Each negative report from the doctor indicating the disease was progressing he would hold my hand as I shed tears, telling me I would be okay. Ever my Knight. In the end, I believe he stayed with us as long as he could because he wanted to make sure we were all going to be okay.
I have had a few crises to deal with – normal human life. Each time- my first thought was I need Sir and each time he was there. He was really good at “pushing in” at the Emergency Department. He would simply say ” My daughter is in there and that is where I am going”. When my Father broke his hip, Sir and Meema drove to Boston everyday to check on all of us. There was no end to their love and care for all of us. Sir’s presence always made me feel that no matter what, I was going to be okay because I was loved by him and he would make sure I was okay.
Sir could cook- anything. He was the one who taught me how to properly grill and how to pull off Christmas Eve dinner when the main entre was a disaster. He never once made me feel like a failure- he just put on an apron, fixed a smile on his face and made the meal edible. I will never again have a cranberry wine cosmo or a piece of flan that will compare to his- and I do not want to. He will remain the best at these.
When I moved my business to my current location he was the one that installed the door bell, the Nest and my exterior cameras. I know now that it was his way of keeping me safe when he would no longer be able to. Every time the door opens and the bell rings, I am reminded of him and how much he loves me.
On June 7, 2023, Sir took his last breath. It was his time. His body was done and I think he understood that we would be okay, that we would carry on his legacy of love and protection by caring for each other as he did us. His death was peaceful and so filled with love. I am beyond grateful to have been there.
I could spend pages telling you more about this amazing man but to be respectful of your time and honestly, I can hear him saying “move along”- Here is a list of things I learned from Sir, my knight in shinning armor.
- Love people by what is in their heart not their wallet.
- Men can be vulnerable – they can love deeply and express that love in words, emoji, and acts of kindness.
- Tell people you miss them.
- Ask for and expect to be protected and cared for.
- Work hard, but don’t work at the expense of family. FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST. Family is not just the biological or matrimonial kind, it includes the ones that are sent to us to cherish.
- LOVE big. It is so worth it.
- Do life together- share the chores, grocery shop together, work together, pray together and explore this incredible world together.
- Put a high price on yourself and never go on sale.
- Ladies do not pump gas when there is a gentleman to do it.
- Gentlemen open and close doors, especially car doors.
- Ladies should be escorted to the restroom in public places.
- In one second: smile and shake someone’s hand (Michael’s lesson from Sir).
- Men do cook and they do wear aprons.
Most important is that I learned to treasure the people we love. Tell them how much they mean and how grateful we are that they are part of our lives. I am going to miss this man forever but I am absolutely certain that he is still watching out for me and for that I am profoundly grateful.
Peace
K