It is just a fern

My brother and I had the opportunity to go to the gym every morning while in Nova Scotia together this past week. It was so great to have early mornings with my big brother doing the thing we love- working out. After our work out we usually had an errand or 3 to do and one of these included a trip to Starbucks :). Getting back to the cottage involved backing down the narrow driveway which has tons of ferns growing on its edges. One particular morning the rental car slammed on its brakes- on its own- as we were backing down. Honestly, it scared the cr%p out of me. Doug’s comment was- “holy cow, it’s just a fern”. The truck had perceived huge danger and responded by slamming on the brake. The statement “it’s just a fern” gave me inspiration.  Sometimes slamming on the brake is necessary but sometimes its just y overly dramatic and unnecessary. Do we slam on our brakes when we don’t need to?  Do we perceive something as innocuous as a fern as a big danger?  Who cares if you do?

Hyper response. My new word. Merriam- Webster defines hyperresponsive as abnormal responsiveness to a physical or emotional stimulus.  I am going to define my new word as a response that is unnecessarily intense and dramatic.  What happens if we act like a Durango with a Hemi engine in response to a soft flowy fern? We expend a ton of energy. We rev up our nervous system – auto road to the sympathetic nervous system -the place of Fight Flight or Freeze response. To put it in another way it means that we will likely make knee jerk reactions and not respond in a thoughtful purposeful manner. Here is a practical example. Following a heavy rain you go to check the basement and notice a good size puddle, not a flood but more than can be ignored. A hyper response is “Oh #$ no the basement is flooded and everything is going to get wet”. This sentence is the path to Fight, Flight Freeze- no use in this situation. A not hyper response ” There is water on the floor”. This is a factual statement, no drama no future prediction of damage. A factual statement is as benign as this keeps your brain in thinking mode so that your next step might be to see if there is still water coming in or if is this the complete puddle. This will lead to an appropriate action plan such as moving stuff near the puddle, and strategizing best way to get water out shop vac or towels. How you respond to an issue that needs attention impacts those around you. Your response may determine how others see the problem. An 8-year-old who hears  “the basement is totally flooded” is getting a much different message than if she hears “there is water on the floor”.

Hyper response to situations that do not need a hyper response limits creative problem-solving. Resolution may happen with a hyper response but the cost may out way the benefit. The next time you find yourself with a problem that needs to be solved; ask yourself, “Does this need a hyper response from me?”. If the answer is no, congratulations! You have taken the first step in the direction of a drama-free, creative and effective resolution.