Friendship

Friendship is a topic that has been in my thoughts recently. My self narrative about my ability to be a friend is not always a helpful or healthy one. Truth Bomb- reaching out and staying connected is not something I have ample data to support myself with. I hesitate to identify myself as inadequate because an inadequate friend is the last thing I wish to identify myself as. If that is my identity the outcome for me is not pretty because this identity offers my brain the opportunity to go looking for evidence to make this true or to give me a pass on the need to be be a better friend.

Does this feeling of not being a good enough friend ever happen to you? Is it connected with a season of life?

I have been a little busier recently. The reason why is that I have created a new business along with Victoria Kirby. {More on this in future blogs.} When I find myself busier, my natural instinct is to find respite.  Respite for me is introversion. Introversion is not compatible with nurturing friendships outside of those that I do not see in my every day life. Being overly introverted increases the feeling of letting myself and others down. And, we all know where this can go- shame.

If you are willing to explore your discomfort you can open yourself up to solution. Explore does not mean wallow in the why me stuff it means “why am I feeling this way, what am I telling myself that is leading to this feeling? The picture that accompanies this blog was sent to me from a friend as a text the other night. The timing was obviously perfect. The Universe does deliver what you need when you need it if you are open to it.

I am going to take the liberty of putting my spin on the words. We need friends who think we are a big deal. We need friends who do not need to one up each other or be “busier” than you. We need friends who will offer kind words when needed or maybe a hug. We need friends who celebrate our wins and pick us up when we fail. We need friends who will look for our minds when we loose them and lastly we need friends who will love us even when we have crawled into a quiet spot-alone.

Am I capable of being such a friend? I am. Period.  Knowing this capacity is so much more valuable than focusing on my inadequacy.  Here is an identity that feels right for me.  I am the friend who thinks her friends are a really big deal. I do and will celebrate all wins and I will pick my friends up when they fail. I have no need to compete with my friends, they have already won the race.

Peace

Kim