Disruptions

Disruptions happen. Husbands get the GI bug, you flatten a tire by hitting a pothole, and basements take on water in the spring. Disruptions are a guaranteed part of life. How do you do disruptions? Do you roll with them or do you rail against the injustice of the Universe who must be out to get you? In the minutes after a disruption occurs we have the opportunity to choose our response and the choice we make determines our results.

We can allow our thoughts to run amuck, catastrophizing, future tripping,  and the absolute best- taking it personally. Truth be told that could very well be me- “this pothole deliberately formed so that I could hit it and blow my tire”. Crazy thinking, right?  Nope, not completely crazy because humans are wired to think negatively. Thinking negatively can keep us safe. It is why we have the feeling that someone approaching the intersection is not going to stop their car so we pause before proceeding to avoid a possible collision. This kind of decision-making, while assuming the worst outcome comes from having our own back. Deciding to avoid a collision by waiting at the intersection is an example looking out for yourself.  Railing at the injustice of a disruption does not have your best interest at heart because there is no benefit to you in doing it. It prolongs the disruption because it blocks creative problem-solving which is desirable in managing a disruption.

I use a thought model in my life coaching practice. It is an effective way to understand our own power to create the results we want by being aware of how we are thinking about neutral circumstances. In this case, the disruption, whatever it is, is a neutral circumstance also known as a fact. A flat tire is a circumstance- it is factual. Circumstances/facts are things that everyone asked would agree is true. Here is the most important bit- so pay attention ♥ What we decide to think about the circumstance will determine the outcome it will have for us.           For example -how we think about the flat tire will determine our feelings/emotional response. If your thought is “Rats, this is annoying so glad I can call triple A for help”. Your subsequent feeling will likely be acceptance of the disruption for what it is just a disruption. Acceptance is good. From this place of acceptance, you can figure out the next right action. This version of the thought model creates a helpful outcome for you. Lets change it up to what happens if our thought about the flat tire is “This is horrible that pothole deliberately formed so that I could hit it and it is going to cost me money”. I know this is an exaggeration. But let’s go with it. This sentence will lead to feeling horrible and injustice. When we feel injustice we  will create a negative narrative that goes something like  “This always happens to me, now what am I going to do, my day is ruined, I am going to miss my appointment and then get into trouble, … I am such an idiot for hitting that pothole”. This narrative takes up brain space that could be used for creative solutions.  It will keep us stuck and powerless.

How will you handle your next disruption when it comes along?

Here is a possible step-by-step approach to disruption that might be helpful for you.

Step 1. Breathe

Step 2. Remind yourself that disruptions are part of everyone’s life.

Step 3. Create a thought that will make you feel optimistic. (“It is a tire and that is a hole”)

Step 4. Stay in the moment. Avoid getting too far ahead of yourself.

Step 5. Ask yourself “What is my next right step”?