The Pity Party

Recently, I experienced a period of struggle in my business. The word I would use to describe it is injustice. For me, injustice is a big feeling highway to a pity party. The party with black balloons, no cake, and only one guest (hostage). I am worthy of the occasional pity party, everyone is. Sometimes they are necessary to get real with our true feelings. The trick is to leave before we get stuck. Why? Because the pity party is disempowering. It offers a dark and limited view. Can a solution be found by looking through an empty toilet paper tube?

I do not know the universal solution to exiting the pity party. But, my recent business struggle gave me the opportunity to be in and get out of a pity party. Below is the process I went through, hopefully, it provides a perspective that could help you if you find yourself in a pity party of your own.

Driving home from work one evening I felt heavy and gloomy. I stopped on a side street and turned off my car. I looked for the sentence in my brain that was causing this feeling. What came was “ I am so mad, this is so unfair”. I let the mad bubble up and it came out as yelling. I was in the privacy of my car, yelling. Weird. But the result was clarity (and a sore throat). Allowing myself to process being mad in a safe place was a game changer. I was no longer looking through a toilet paper tube. I felt expansion- like the view from a beach. Within minutes I had several good ideas and next steps. It blew my mind. I remembered someone who could help me with my business problem. I had forgotten that she had offered me “help anytime”.  My brain was so busy and full of pity party activities that I could not see solutions. Not only did I arrive home with awesome solutions, but I also birthed a new rule.

Kim’s New Rule

Problems that cannot be solved in one hour are not mine to solve. These problems need to be passed along to an expert in the field.

 

Be aware of the pity party. Find a path out so your view is expanded and allow solutions to flow.